


acid rain

by neonfinn



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, POV Second Person, Suicidal Thoughts, bc apparently i dont know how to write other pov's rip, not too descriptive but they're there, particularly burning/acid injury (ranboo gets hurt in the rain)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28974975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonfinn/pseuds/neonfinn
Summary: basically an alternate version of the events of ranboo's stream directly after doomsday because my misferns heart can't take this shit. this is what i imagine would've happened if eret had offered to give ranboo a place to stay rather than philza. this is also based upon the idea that ranboo’s own tears burn him bc i am so upset that he confirmed that canonically oh my god.
Relationships: eret & ranboo, eret just keeps adopting traumatized children huh
Comments: 3
Kudos: 78





	acid rain

**Author's Note:**

> please pay attention to the trigger warnings, this gets pretty heavy with an ongoing panic attack, suicidal thoughts, self harm, intrusive thoughts, and burning/acid-like injury.  
> the italics are both for emphasis and also to show which thoughts are more intrusive and panicked.

You never should have come here.

L’manburg is destroyed and it’s all your fault. Why did you have to get involved? Why did you have to mess this up so badly? If you’d have just kept your head down and kept your memory book to yourself, none of this would’ve happened. Hell, if you’d have never even been here in the first place your friends would probably still be safe, their country still intact.

Yet here you are, standing at the edge of the crater that was once called L’manburg, looking over the charred ruins of the country you called home. The country whose people _let_ you call it home. And now it’s all gone, turned into a hole in the ground by yet another side, yet another friend who you’re not sure would consider you the same.

Why couldn’t you have just chosen a side? Just given in and decided who to give your loyalty to, who to bow to, who to take commands from as you storm into battle. But no. You had to go around and ruin it all. Had to befriend people throughout the server, mix it all up and cause chaos.

It’s all your fault.

It’s burning because of _you_.

Because you were too slow, too naive to make the right choice, too stubborn to second-guess yourself. You _always_ second-guess yourself. Why didn’t you this time? It works and you should stick to it, stick with doubt, with fear, with loneliness. _On your own you can’t hurt anyone, after all_.

But you had to go and get attached and now there’s a massive ravine where there used to be a thriving country. Because of you.

You fucking _idiot_ , it’s all your fault. Everything they built is destroyed because you trusted your gut, you stood up for yourself and it got people hurt. Idiot. It’s all because of you.

_Tap._

There’s a sharp pain on your ear and you instinctively jump back, stumbling from the edge of the ravine and knocking down rubble and grass as you kick. Regaining your composure, you hold a hand up to your ear to figure out what’s wrong just as another pang of pain hits your scalp.

_Tap, tap, tap._

You look up to see a dark sky, rain beginning to pelt the ground around you.

Quickly, you scramble into your inventory and grab your helmet, shielding yourself from the droplets just as the water begins to fall in a downpour.

 _You deserve this_. Some sort of divine punishment or whatever for the shit you’ve done. You should just sit out in the rain, let it burn you away until you dissolve into the earth you caused the destruction of. Let yourself disappear. God knows they'd all be better off without you.

It stings. Every raindrop that hits still hurts, even through your clothing, though your face is mostly protected by your helmet and visor.

_Maybe you shouldn’t wear it though._

Maybe you should take it off. Let the rain eat away at your skin, let it all burn. It’d be painful, but you don't deserve an easy way out. At least you wouldn’t be a problem anymore, wouldn’t bother anyone, and, most of all, you wouldn’t hurt anyone else. Can’t do that if you’re--

“Ranboo?”

You jump half out of your own skin, nearly sending yourself tumbling down into the crater below before a hand grabs your shoulder and steadies you. You spin around, still regaining your balance, and look down to the person in front of you.

You’re greeted by a soft yet concerned smile with eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses. The king looks up to you and tilts his head.

“Sorry to startle you, wasn’t my intention,” she gently states before looking from you to the umbrella in her hand, “Thought you might appreciate some cover?”

You look to it, perplexed. Why are they here? Why do they care? Is this a trap or a joke or some subtle way to get you to owe them a favor? You’re not sure what to do, your mind is racing and you need to escape. You need to get to the panic room, it’s not safe here. _Eret isn’t safe_. Are they? When have they wronged you? But then again, when have they stood up for you? God, you wish you had your book now.

And suddenly the rain is a lot quieter. The previously loud, metallic patter of drops on your helmet is gone. You blink and focus back in on what’s going on in front of you. You realize the umbrella is above you, hear Eret’s voice and process he’s asking you a question, though you’re not sure what. Think, focus, _god you idiot just pay attention_.

“Are you alright, Ranboo?” he looks towards you from over his sunglasses and you catch a glimpse of his white eyes. You’re not sure if that’s comforting or frightening. 

Who knows how many times she asked you that before you realized what she said while you just stood there staring blankly at their umbrella. Maybe that was answer enough in itself. No, you have to respond, idiot, have to say something. That's how this shit works. _Talk, for god's sake_.

You shake your head. In an instant, panic washes over you as your mind reels through what you just implied. Oh god, now he thinks you need help, now he's going to take advantage of that, use you, make you choose another side. He's going to think you're some terrified little creature that can't fend for itself. Something to be pitied.

"Ranboo," your attention is snapped back to the conversation you're dreading being a part of. Oh, this is a mess. Why did you get yourself into this? Should've moved on, kept away, should've--

"Do you need a place to stay?"

All of your thoughts come to a screeching halt.

_What did she say?_

“I-- _what?_ ” you manage to stammer. _God, you sound stupid, why can’t you just say what you mean?_

“I’ve got the castle back in the Dream SMP,” they gesture vaguely behind them and you spot a faint rainbow flag far off in the distance, “not like it’s lacking in space,” they chuckle.

_They chuckle._

Is this a joke? What is she trying to do? Why the hell is she being so kind? After all, this whole mess is _your fault_. The reason the land around them is scorched, the reason your friends are broken apart, the reason Eret’s own face is still streaked with ash and mud.

“What do you say?” their gentle voice rings out like it’s the only sound in the deafening rain. You look to the ground, watching mud slowly start to form as water seeps into the soil and washes away over the edge of the L’manburg crater. _You could wash away with it, dissolve into the ground..._

“Okay,” your voice is faint and you can feel your thoughts screaming against you, but _god_ the rain is really starting to hurt. But it’s enough of a response. Loud enough for her to hear and pitiful enough to elicit a soft smile in response as they nod their head and lead you back to their castle.

You hardly register your feet moving, the whole walk feels numb. It is nice being under the umbrella, sheltered from the brunt of the rain. But no, this can’t be right. This _isn’t right_. You don’t know Eret, not even sure it’s safe to be headed back to her castle. How do you know she won’t kill you? _What would it matter anyway?_ No, no it matters-- why are you going with them? God, this is stupid, _you’re stupid for going along with this._

Your foot connects with hard stone as you trip over a step. Looking up to realize you’re already at the gate, castle walls looming ominously ahead of you. You pause at the base of the steps. Why are you here? You don’t belong. Why are you accepting help you don’t deserve from a person who you don’t know if you can trust?

Eret pauses with you. She says something, must have. You hear it but it’s just a garbled mess of syllables that don’t work in your head. The tone seems reassuring. Or maybe it’s annoyed, god knows you can’t tell the difference. But either way, he waits for you to take the first step, umbrella held carefully over you to keep stray drops off of your shoulders. The stone stairs are slick with water and god, you don’t want to fall. You see a hand offered out to you and accept it without thinking. _Why aren’t you thinking?_ Shut up, just keep moving. You’re nearly there.

The final step leading up to Eret’s castle feels like a mountain. Your foot hits the ground and the quiet tap of your shoe against the stone feels thunderous. Eret collapses the umbrella back down and you flinch, worried the rain will return to hitting your shoulders. But to your surprise, nothing happens. Looking up, you see the overhang above the doorway is shielding you from the current downpour. Eret’s face flashes with concern at your reaction and you feel your skin crawl with embarrassment. They seem to notice and quickly avert their gaze, focusing instead on unlocking the massive doors of the castle.

A loud creak fills your ears and you watch as the door gradually pushes inwards, revealing a large, warmly-lit drawing room. You obviously knew that the castle would be big, but somehow stepping into the entrance still takes your breath away. Coupled with how jarringly empty the entire place is, you feel like the room will swallow you whole. You are suddenly intensely aware of just how small you are, how cold it is, and how alone you feel. You’re very glad to have someone nearby or else you may not be able to stand the strange hollowness of the castle.

Turning back to face Eret, you find that he’s no longer beside you.

You spin around frantically, confused. Where the hell did he just go? Did he leave you? _Of course he left you, they all always leave you._ Why would you ever think he’d be there for you? And now you’re alone in a castle that seems too vast to be considered a home. _You need your panic room._ You need security, a small place, closed walls, _protection._ That’s what the panic room is for, to keep you safe. This is the opposite of safe.

And oh my god, you’ve just accepted to go to a castle of someone you do not know, do not trust, and don’t know the intentions of. _It’s right there in the anthem, Eret’s a bad guy._ Right? Is she? No, no-- of course she is, _she’s left you._ It’s all a mess and it’s your fault. You idiot, why would you ever trust anyone? No one is your friend, no one cares. All they want is someone to join them and fight their battles. You need to get out of here, go out into the rain, escape to--

“Hey, hey, hey, are you okay, Ranboo?” a concerned voice pipes up through the sound of your own hyperventilating.

You quickly turn to see Eret holding several towels, back as if nothing happened. They look at you worriedly and hold their hands out in a question. You answer that question by falling forward into their arms and wrapping your own around their back.

 _Why are you doing this?_ He’s not safe, he must be a bad guy, no one likes you. _WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?_ Let go, leave, run. Go out into the rain and disappear like everyone wants you to. This is foolish, you’re only going to get hurt. Only going to end up hurting others. _Let go._

But you don’t want to.

Eret holds you close and you can hear her gently mumbling, rambling on some long apology for ever leaving, an apology that seems far more dire than one simply said to apologise for disappearing to grab a towel. But you’re not sure what all she’s saying because it’s muffled over your own quiet babbling of incomprehensible fear.

It’s pathetic. But you haven’t got it in you to care right now.

Eventually, you loosen your grip on him and shift backwards. They easily let you go, though their hand lingers reassuringly on your arm. Turning away to face down the hallway, they begin to say something that seems important.

 _Something, something,_ a fireplace and guest room, _something,_ stay the night or however long you need. She turns to you, seeming to wait for you to take the first steps. You’re still standing where you’ve been for the past… oh god how long have you been standing here? Since Eret returned with towels-- _when did they place the towels around your shoulders?_ You absentmindedly pull the towels closer and take a step forward.

She leads the way down a hallway that seems impossibly, disorientingly long. The walk from the drawing room to the guest room feels more exhausting than the one from L’manburg to the castle, though you’re far too zoned out to really think properly anymore. It’s too tiring.

_God, you’re so tired._

Before you know it, he’s opening the door to a warm, smaller room. Though it’s by no means a small guest room, it’s far more cozy than the echoing halls of seemingly endless space that was the main castle area. Eret enters, looking to you and saying something before heading over to the large fireplace across the room. You step in, awkwardly tripping over the edge of a rug laid out across the floor. Glad that Eret was too busy with the fire to see your fumble, you shuffle across the room to find a spot to sit on the floor in front of the fireplace.

You may be a goddamn mess and your head may be screaming at you to leave, but you’re not going to pass up a chance to get dried off and warm. You’re almost sure Eret can hear your teeth chattering from where they’re standing.

Once Eret has gotten the fire kicked up, she heads over to a nearby cabinet, pulling out a pile of various blankets. They set down the pile on an armchair by the window and pick up the large fur blanket on top, unfurling it and draping it over their arm. He walks over to you, holding up the blanket which you eagerly accept with a mumbled thanks. Wrapping it around yourself, you quickly feel yourself warming up.

It’s cozy. You feel safe.

_Why do you feel safe?_

This is nothing like the panic room. This is more open, more exposed, and there’s another person with you for god’s sake. It’s foreign and it's strange and it shouldn’t feel like home. But it does.

Because it’s warm, it’s secure, and there’s another person with you. No cold obsidian floors, no water surrounding every wall, no dripping ceiling. It’s different. And, for once in your life, different seems… better.

"Hey,” their voice cuts through your thoughts in an instant and you look up to see them standing awkwardly by the fire, “I know everything's overwhelming right now and you have absolutely no reason to trust me whatsoever..." their voice trails off as they continue. Seeing the king at such a loss for words isn't a common sight. "So if you…” she hesitantly continues, “if you want, I can leave you alone for a bit if that'd be more--"

"Please don't go," _god you sound fucking pathetic._

She turns to you, thinly-veiled surprise crossing her features briefly before she returns to her composed expression. Cautiously stepping across the room, she approaches you with concern.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here,” Before you know it, he sits down across from you, “you’re safe, I’m not going to leave you, okay?” He reaches out a hand to you in an unspoken offer of comfort. Shakily, you accept it and squeeze tightly. You’re afraid that if you don’t hold on tight enough, they’ll disappear. Just like all your friends, just like L’manburg, just like all your memories.

You stare blankly at your hand holding theirs, watching the image slowly blur as everything comes back to hit you all at once. Before you can stop yourself, a small sob escapes your mouth, a quiet chirp accompanying it. It’s too much, it’s all at once. The floodgates have opened and you feel tears begin to slide down your face.

It burns.

You feel the skin on your cheeks begin to sting as tears singe trails of burnt skin down your face. Turning away from Eret, you try to conceal your face. _You can’t let him see you looking weak._ What will happen if she thinks you’re weak? God, it’s so pathetic. They must see you as a fragile thing, a pitiful sight to behold.

More sobs shake your torso and you take your hand back from gripping Eret’s.

Without thinking, you bring your hands to your face and claw at the raw skin. You can’t stop yourself, the water is scalding your face and you have to do something to _make it stop_. Your whole body is shaking as you frantically, desperately try to scratch the tears away from your face. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you can hear a muffled voice in front of you, but you’re not sure what they’re saying.

You never realized how hard it is to focus through pain. Not until now. You can’t even hear her at this point, your whole mind is screaming at you to fix the searing pain on your face before letting you process a single word.

Suddenly, you feel two hands gently grasp both your wrists, carefully pulling them away from your face. You tense up at first. Your instinct is to yank your hands away, to get up and run, _get the hell out of there_. But once your hands are away from your face, the pain subsides somewhat and you focus in on Eret’s gentle voice.

“Are you alright?” The question is more rhetorical, meant to comfort and, honestly, it does somewhat ground you. They continue, “What’s wrong, can I do anything to help you?”

How do you even answer that?

You’re a mess, you’re sobbing and whimpering from something you brought on yourself. You know you can’t cry, not without consequences. And now you’re making it Eret’s problem, making them deal with you. _How do you answer that?_

“It hurts,” is all you can manage, bringing your hands back to your face once more as gasps of pain become too difficult to hold back. You can’t stop. It hurts so fucking bad. Your nails dig into the skin on your face, scratching compulsively to try and ignore the pain.

You’re so out of it that you don’t notice the confusion that fills Eret’s expression, nor how she mumbles light curses under her breath as confusion morphs to understanding and as understanding morphs to horrible concern. You don’t see him search around himself for something, don’t see him then look to his cape and feel the soft fabric as if he’s testing it for something.

And so when he gently pushes your hands from your face and wipes away your tears with the soft, velvety edge of her cape, you are caught entirely by surprise.

With a caring caution no one has ever regarded you with, they dry all of the tears that were just burning your face. The water quickly soaks into the soft fabric, instantly relieving the sharp sting that was just burning through your skin. The pain is gone.

_The pain is gone._

In an instant, she just… Took it away.

It was the simplest gesture in the world, but somehow it held so much within it. One small sweep of her cape is somehow the most impactful action anyone’s ever done for you. And that makes you wanna cry all over again.

It’s always a mess when you cry. Always a pain to deal with both literally and figuratively, always something you try to avoid. Never something you try to stop, not worth it you figured. Probably deserved it anyway. But here Eret is, sitting across from you and making sure your tears don’t scald your skin further.

No one has ever done that for you.

Well, to be fair no one has ever seen you cry either. _No one has ever seen you cry._

Oh god no one’s ever seen you cry and you’ve just barged in here and taken up Eret’s time and burdened him with your problems. Oh _god_ what are you doing, this is so rude, why would you do this to anyone?

“I’m sorry--,” you startle even yourself with the sudden words, “I-- don’t mean to take up your time or-- or be a problem,” your voice is a mess, stuttering through syllables that you’re not thinking about before speaking aloud, “you probably have important things to do and-- and I’m just a mess here ruining your cape and you probably want me gone and-- and-- and...” your voice trails off in a babbling mess as more tears begin to flow.

Eret is quick to wipe them away, giving you a soft yet stern look before they speak up.

“Why would I want you gone?” they sound earnest as they continue, “Ranboo, if I didn’t want you here I wouldn’t have offered. I care about you and--” they almost seem choked up, “and I want you to be safe.”

You look at them, puzzled.

“Yeah, but,” you try and clear your throat to make your voice more audible, “why do you even care in the first place?”

Eret sighs at this and adjusts the blanket around your shoulders.

“Because you’re just a kid,” he looks away, white light from his eyes flickering over the edge of his sunglasses, “no one deserves to be thrown into this bullshit alone, much less someone so young.”

You feel incredibly small in this moment, engulfed in furs that are probably more expensive than all your belongings combined. You may be a good foot taller than Eret, but sitting here, curled up in front of her and stuttering through tears, you may as well be half her height.

You shift around and lean closer to them. He cares. No one’s ever cared.

“I--,” you sutter out, “thanks.”

You haven’t got much else to say. _That’s a lie._ You have another thing to say. Something that’s been eating away at you since Eret first showed up, something you feel bad to bring up but can’t let go of.

“How do I--,” you pause, unsure how to phrase this gently. He’s been so kind to you, but god you can’t get that nagging thought out of your head. “How do I know I can trust you?”

You look away from her, feeling too anxious to even try and look her in the eyes. _God, you messed it up, didn’t you?_ You almost made a friend, and ally, and you had to speak your feelings. You feel your stomach turn as you await a response, surprised to feel a hand reach out to your own. You cling to it tightly.

“You don’t have to trust me, that’s fine, I understand,” she wipes a stray tear that has started to burn its way down your cheek, “I’ve not exactly proven myself to be the most trustworthy person on the server.” She looks away, seemingly deep in thought about a past you cannot begin to imagine.

“Just know that you can come here anytime you need, okay?” He continues, tentatively looking towards you but avoiding looking you directly in the eyes. You silently thank her for this. “Even if I’m not here, even if we’re not on good terms or end up on opposite sides. If you ever need a place to crash-- for any reason at all-- the castle doors are always open to you.”

You sit shocked looking towards them. That kind of care, unconditional and understanding, that is something you have never experienced before. And you’re not sure how to react.

No one has ever cared-- or even tried to care-- that much about you. They’ve never asked sincerely how you’re feeling, never taken you in to keep you safe, never genuinely tried to understand and adapt to your needs. And it’s caught you entirely off guard.

You want to say so much, tell him everything and give your sincerest thanks to no end. Want to explain how much it all means to you, how exhausted you are, how kind the simplest gestures she’s done have changed everything. But you’re not sure where to even begin.

Rather than trying to put it all into words, you simply lean forward into an embrace, resting your head on their shoulder.

“Thank you,” is all you’ve got to say. It’s not much, it’s just two words that are thrown around in any old conversation, words that don’t tend to mean a whole lot. But they get your point across. In this situation, they hold more than the weight of the world. And Eret understands that.

They simply nod against your shoulder in response, holding you impossibly closer as you relax into the hug. They gently brush their fingers through your hair and you absently let out a small chirp at the soothing gesture. The rain outside picks up as thunder gently rumbles off in the distance.

And for once, the sound of rain pattering on the roof doesn’t mean you’re alone.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to yell at me on tumblr @alltheangelssay-uwu


End file.
